so the fugitives at ņ̵̰̟̃͌̒̇̇͒͛́̔͝͝ẻ̴͎̏̓̽͐́̀̂́̽̀́̕͝w̴̨̖̫̟͓̗̱͓̪͖͗̒̏̍͒͂̈́͋̂̑̑̽̈́͝ ̷̛͈̪̦̍̂̇̿ḩ̸̯̦̠̄̈́̀͂͒͝͠y̵̛̺͙͓̙̔̉͊̏̂̉́̔̚̕͠d̶̟̺̖̱͔͚̤̺̦̓̾͑̀̊́͛̌̌͐̀̾͜͝e̶̢̘̱̬̠͚̟̳̳͕͕͉͇͔̊ ̷̙̩͍͍͙̻͊p̶̛̬̼͈̦̙̪̙̑̿̍̉̅̉͋͘͝͠ạ̸͖̹̮̐̀̿͂͊̔͑̄̀̎̊̇̚͝ṟ̸̱̤͚̻͍͕̝̜̀̒̈́̄̈́͑̾̓͐̏͘͘k̴̡̡̧̟̻̗̲̖̭̥̟͇̤̓̋̏́̇́̀̓̇̃̾̅͝͠ memorial high skool are like stuck in the middle of this id enforcement thing that’s so intense it’s like a life and death sitch.

students, once allowed to roam the halls with like the simple fear of failing their ap stats test, are now hunted down like fugitives for the ultimate crime: NO ID

adding to the paranoia are the massive posters plastered on the walls, all bearing the same ominous question: “Are You Tagged?” The message is clear—if you’re not wearing your ID, you might as well be a fugitive on the run. 

“i went to throw out my gum, and suddenly, i was surrounded,” recounts fugitive 025 (name changed for safety) . “wheres your ID?’ they asked. i reached for my pocket, but it wasn’t there. i knew at that moment i was d̶̨̢͈̗͎̮͇̦̪̱̞̬̱͒̄̍͗̿̒́͐̒̇̈́̄͂̿͘͜͜ŏ̷̭͖̫̫͖͉͍̬͇͊͗͗̒͌̒̎̃̄̐̏̄ṋ̴̱̗̬̟̙̦͎̩̱̠̖̐̀̄̽̄̈͊͌͂̒̒͒̑̐̚͜ȅ̴͖̲̠̫̠̜̔́́̓͠ ̵͉̮͙͇͈̹̰̙͉̗̱̠̆͋̓͘f̸͖̰̱̥͔̯̖̘̼͌͆ͅͅö̴͓͕͓̝̼̭̝̻̗̽̓̐̌̄̆̄͘ͅŗ̴̡͇̠͚̫̜̭̥͕̼͈͇͓͑.̷̛͙̖̦̣͚̟̭̫͍̗̋̈́̔͂͘̚”̵̨̛̫͓̫̯͍͓̰͖̟͈͍̽̆͆̈́͊ ̷̡̥̲̬̭̜̤̹̔́̄̓͘͘

the skool unleashed an elite team of ID Inspectors, whose only job is like standing in hallways, glaring at kids like hawks or something.  no ID? detention. forgot ur ID at home? DETAINED. ID in your pocket? LITERALLY DROP OUT NOW or else. 

The policy is simple: students must display their ID cards at all times. Not tucked in a wallet, not buried in a backpack, not dangling from a belt loop like a cowboy—but properly worn around the neck with a lanyard. The only thing more crucial than this rule is the unspoken understanding that, should a student be caught without their ID, their academic career and personal dignity will be utterly annihilated.  like your life, ur dignity, and ur future are OVER. Say goodbye to your parents hehehahahaha 

It doesn’t end there though. they made this new anthem and it’s all upbeat and catchy and it’s like an ad you can’t escape“ID” It’s an upbeat, propaganda song that students can’t escape—whether they’re trying to catch up on homework or merely listening to Mr. Testa. The lyrics are simple: “Wear your ID, wear it proud, take it up, we’re talking loud!”

real underground economy now revolves around one thing: counterfeit IDs. “I had to get one,” says a sophomore, who we’ll call “Fugitive 352,” because they’re in the witness protection program now. “I can’t live in constant fear of [REDACTED] just ‘cause I forgot my lanyard at home.”

There is now a shady network of fake ID dealers operating out of lockers, back stairwells, and occasionally the third floor bathroom (which is now locked bc of a tattletale grr). For $10, you can get yourself an ID that looks so authentic. 

The most popular fake IDs feature dramatic backstories and altered photos. “I got mine from [REDACTED] in the back of the cafe,” reports Fugitive 289. “She gave me a whole spiel about how she was the mastermind behind the operation—told me the trick was to look ‘extra nerdy’ so the inspectors wouldn’t suspect a thing. Worked like a charm. Got through the halls, no problem.”

“id crackdown sucks so bad literally like idk what the hell everyones doing like bruh. cant i forget my id for one day and not get publicly ä̷̘͍̜̯̜̘͔̭̩̯́̐̇͒͗̚͜n̵̡̛̬̣̻̟̼̬̥͈͔͌̎͐͑̄͊̍͘͠n̸̨̞͈̟͎͈͎̮̳̬͍̝̆̇̎́͊i̷̧̛̙̪͓͙͕͐͊́͂̀̒̽̆ḥ̶̣̪̩͓̺̻͉̞̿́̀̂̇̒̌́̈́̍͂͠ͅi̴̧̯̻͚͖͔͓͈͎̍̈́̅̑̊̐͐̑l̴̰̘̝̬̩͚̺̠͍̺̭͂̊̾̉̍̒͒͊̈́̀͘̚͝â̶̢̡̡̛͖͍̻̳̯̹̣̪͒͂̈̒̽̆͐̔͘͠t̴̡̛͍̼̝̟̫̱̓̉̀͋̍̒͑̓̔̚͝͝e̸͎͐͋́͒̿͋͑d̶͙̠͙͖͚͍̟̍͒̕ in the halls” said junior Ava Su. 

So, what happens when you don’t have your ID? Well, no one really knows. Ţ̶͖͙̗̣̝̱̪̣͛̕ͅH̴̖͕̉̉́̚͜E̴̪̭̿̽̌̑͒̑̎͗̀̓̋̃͑͂͝Ÿ̶̧̛̝̙͚̭͍͎͕͎́̀̽̊̀̃̑̂̂̌̈́͝͝R̷̻̮͙̰̙̹̥̗͖̗̩̻̜̙̞͋̎̍Ȅ̶̛̠̣͚͑͆̏͛͆̇̑͝ are being sent down to the office, and honestly, we haven’t heard from them since. It’s almost like a Bermuda Triangle situation. They go in with no ID, and p̸̳͇̲͓̩̰̾̍͝ơ̸͎͓̥̆̄̈́̒̕̚̕̚͠ǫ̷̼̱̘͕̹̜͔̩̓̚f̴̪̖̟͉̞͈̥͔̝́̚ͅ—̴̟̘̦͍͖̅̍͑͑͋͒̍̅̌̑̚͜͝g̷̡̨̡̛͍̲͚͚͙̱̣̞͓͍͓̺̀̿͒̓͗͝ǒ̸͕̻͎̙͉̑̄̈̓̂̀̄͘͠ņ̴̘̙̻̫͔̤̲̻̻͓̦̠͋̃̂́̅̈́͋e̵̦͓͖̤͋̈́͆͗͝ͅ ̵̨̧̡̮̙̮̺̞̞̥͎̄̽͛͋̋̀̎̂̌̏̐̕̕͠͝b̸̡̡̙̞͍͓̻̺̙̗̤̙̟͒̑̔̊́̈́̅̎̏̅̈́̇̆͘ļ̸̰͓̗̮͎̰͆͑̓̍̀͒̄͐̀̅͑̋͆̒͠ą̴̦̾̈́͊̌͑b̷͓̤̬̱̰̜̥̖̖̬͙́̍̈́͑̽̿̊̑̊͑̒̊̕͝ͅͅͅͅå̵̛̛̖͔͓̋̐̀̇̿̽̆̊ ̵̨̛̛̱̐̀͌̿̑ỹ̷̡̪͕̝̹̼̭̮̙͈͚̩̰̺̈́̋͘͠ǫ̸͉͚̩͎͔̩͖̰̟̼͋́̒̿̀̓́̊͝ư̵̙̺̜̺̼͙̓͐̿̒́̈́̓̍͑̊͜ ̶͍̜̀̎̃͋̓͋̈́͋̐̚͝͠ä̵̛͓́͊̏͊̿̕͝ç̴͖̠͉̺̹͓̥̣̳̆̋̏̅̅̕t̴̨̮͍͈͈̼̘͎͙̖̦̬̮̲̽͂̀ȕ̴̧͙̪̰̻͐̆̇͝͝ā̶̧̤̹͕̥̺̙̥͇̏̓͂́́͝l̷̡̨̡̪̬̹̥͉̜͈̮̺͍̜̐͑͆͜ľ̶̬̪̙̪͖̭̣͖̹͍̬̄͒̈́̕̕ͅy̴̫̙͍̙͉̝̱̹̥͔̦̥̭̞͆̔͂̾̾̐̏̽̍͝ ̷͕̀͂̄̄͠t̸͚͈̮̱͔̩͚̩͚̼͙̣͌̐̈́͐͊͘̕͜h̶̨̛̞͔̻͕̻͖͖̙̐͆̓̋͊̏͜͝ͅō̴̺͓̦̎̽̑͌̃͐͝u̶̠͈͇͓̭̫͕̣̿͑̎̐͋͆̋́̔͒̕ģ̶̣̟͓͍̻͔̠͈̜͂̿h̵̛̝̦̠̜͉͈̼̤͈̟̜̼̖̱̾̓̈́̽́̄̔͘͝͝ͅt̸̢̧͙͔̭̤̬̱͕̥̗͇͙̏͊͗͛͑̽̉͐̽̎͒͊̀̚͝ ̵̭̦͎̀́̅s̸̢̆ö̵̗̩͚́̍́̀͂̀̓̌̕͘͠͝m̸̦̦̘̌͗͝͝ę̴̛͓̦̝̟͈̫̣̰̘͇̀͊̿̓̐̓́̋͂͘̚ͅt̸͉͈̐̀͝h̵̩͍͕̳̣̤͇̠̝̼̩̬͇̀̈́̒̌͗̄͗̆̔̌͑͠͠ͅi̴͓̾̇̏̇͗̈́̂̈́̕͝n̶͓̱̻̮̭̅̓̓͜͝g̴̨̨̻̫̹̺͈̟̀̓̆͊̒̽̃ ̸̝͙̐ẃ̵̨̛͂̿͐̇̄̉̍̕ȧ̶̟͖͚̺̩̲̼̻̙̗̥̑̿̌͝͝͠ş̴̛̳̳͈̺͙̠̽͌̃͛̐̽̈̕ ̴̧̢̝̭͖̫̱̓̑̓́̆̈́͂͑̽͜ų̷̛̛̖̜̹̮͉̮̅͋̆͂͒͂͐̍̚͠ń̷̗̳̱̙̫̩͍̺͉̓͋͊͆̊̔̓̒̑d̴̛̜͖̀̋̋͋̂̒̕͠͠͠ȇ̶͕̮́̌̃̐̑͗͆́̔͑̍̏͗̾r̶̢̼̪͚̙̠̻̯̝̲͍͑̃̌͛̀͋̓͠͝͠ ̴̟̳̃͊̑̀͗̚͘ṭ̸̞̻̟̻̗̳̳͔͈̭̊̈́h̶̨͈͖͈͓̭̮̺͎̖̩͝i̷̱̯̲̺̥͆̔̍̊̈͑̅̐̈́ͅs̷̢̞̞̼̙̤̠̖̦̳̈́̈́̀͂̏ ̸̧̧̛͉̹͓̙̮̳̜̟̘̤͙̪̲̆̀͋̏̈̿̽̌ņ̷̬̝̳͉͓̞͔̮̔̈́ó̴̙̙́͜͝ ̵̛̫̲̙͈͔͍͚̊̃̓́͂̄́́̈́̈́̓̇͜i̶̢̥̦͚͎͎̫̠̝͚̩͊͆̉͌͜͝t̷͖̺̺̽́̉͊̊̓̂̾’̵̧̢̛͖̥̦͚̗̝͙͇͔̣͌̄͋̂͛͒͆̇̽̿̚͠ͅs̵̢̢̯̣̦̍ ̷̧͖͇̪͚̫̞͚̃͆̉͂̃̒͑͆͊͋͑͝j̸̡͍̬̖͇̦̏͒̓͘͝u̷̪̤̗̹̪̗̅̑s̸̨̰̹̬̤͇̜͔̹̫̖̤͖̯̄̔̄̏t̷̛̗̺̤̞̭͆̔̊͊͛̂̂̓̔̈́͊ ̸̦͚͍̼̩̟̓̍t̴̞̬̬̣̰̻͔͇͐́̅̚͘ĥ̶̢̛̟̞͕̰̋̏̾̒̓̃̒́̎̑̀͝͠e̶̢̠̠̗͐̃̋̈͊ ̵̛̭͔̩̫̙̌͛̉̆̈̆͆̾̅w̵̧͎̙̯̱̮̩̳͓̼̙̗̓̃̀̈́̾̉̉͆̂̓̕͜͝ͅã̷̢̨̢̘͓͙̱͍̥̱͔̠̞̎͌́̍̓͂̈́͊̊̽̓́͠ͅẇ̵̢̧̩̗̭͖̫̬̈́͝á̴̠̻̗̟͉͌ẇ̵̡̨̛͍̘͎̣͉̭̠̙̜̮͍͐͌͊̄͊̓̆̎̿̚͘͜ḛ̷̢̨̹̩̩͍̖̗̦͔̝̘̆̄̑̊̋́̈́͂̈́̽͜͜e̴̓͑̈́͆́̈́̀͌̐̈̈͌̄̍͛͜e̷̢̢̧̙̹̖͓̻̦͓͎̱̊̈́̀͜͜͝e̴̠̚e̷̛̙̰̤̱͎̖̦̮̦̜͇̳͒͆̏̋͂̈́̽̎̈́̈́͘̚͝ͅw̵̨̐̏̒̓̈́͋̍̚â̵̛̛͉̰͙͈̬͔̯̱̳͇̘͖͙̍̒̈́̉̌͑̅̏̚̚͠͝ạ̶͔̳͖̳̠̥̽̽̑̃̉̆̀͘ą̴͈̞̳̳͙̹̙͖͙̾̏͗̾̊́͆͊̌͜a̴̢̭̝͉͔̱̥͎̙͈͈͖̯̅̾̈́̿̑͗͘͝a̶̛̖͕͈̽̔̂̈́̔̊͐̈́̂̐̅̆a̵̤̳͚̠͎͔̘̦̯̞̟̓̂a̴̧̻̦͚̩͚͐͠ ̵̻̦̺̼͕͕̗̈́̍̓̏̈́͗͗̃̅͋͆̍̾͝h̷̨͕̺̫̼̭͔̰̘͎͉̉͛̊̎̈́͜͝͝a̴͈̣͍͈̠̗̐͘h̷̛̬͍̪̞̞̟͓̳͌̈́͌̇̃͒̚͘a̶̭̹͇͋͗͌̅̓̋̀̏̀h̵̢̜̳̣͖̬͍̣͍͇̾̑͒̈̈́̆̄̈̀͑̾͐̀ͅh̸̝͓̹̺͉̙̑̐a̸̢͍͎͉̝̩̭̗̺̪͕͊́̆̉̂̀̽̅̓̐̾̌̊͘̚ą̴̨̨̫̲͕̹̗̬̲̗̘͙̇͋̒̎́̾̕͝h̴̢̛͉͔͋̿̈͂̒̆͒̇̒́̂͂͘̕ͅḥ̸̭͎̏̑̌̃̔̑a̶̢̨̫̥̤̦̲̹͈͐̉͛͋́̑̈ḩ̴̖̫̙̩̟̝̣͔̫̥̼̯̣̤̃̍̿̅̆͐̎̃̈́̽́͛̓̾͠ấ̵̢͇͒͜͝ͅh̷̥͈̠͕͉̟͎͓̚a̴̗̖̜͊́̇͐̈́̐͑͐̈͑̊̾̔̕h̸̨̀̀̄́͝.̶͚̖̮͙͚̿́̋̈́̈ ̵̰͌̔̂͌̇͑̈́͊̂̕Y̸̫̜̺̯̘͔͔̳̰̦̖̒͜͝ͅa̴̞̫̩̰̜̟̬̦̼͈̘̋̚͜ͅy̵̭̣̘̐̂̆̃̓ÿ̸̤̩̂͌͋̇͜͜a̴͔̳̱̜̜̼͓͖̣̘̱̼͛ỹ̶̡̞̬̻͚͖͙͉̖͓̻̘̝̺́͑͂̊͘͠͠͠ä̸͍̥́͋̏̓̋̃̔͠ÿ̵̠͔̳̝̀̎̔̽͗̌͘ȃ̴͖̱͈̀͊͐͑ÿ̴̨̢̥̥̻̤̹̖͍͖̼̙͎̭́͐̉̉̉͐̆̄̏̋̎͗͜y̶̨͇̯̻͚͎̦͗̾̿͆͑̓̓̆́ả̵͉̟͙̞̱͇̆̂̓͗̅͌̏̌̔͘

““They… they sent me down there, and I— I— I don’t know what happened after, I— I— I barely made it back, like… like,” and they p̷̥̳̀͌́̒̅͌̈̋̓̕o̷̢̢͠ơ̴̱̻̭̥̈͊̈̊̇̀̅̆̕͘͝f̷̡̜̠͛̔̑͋́̓͌̏͝͝ͅ— so we couldn’t get the rest of the quote. whoopsie daisy  

And so, the hunt continues. So, if you’re ever caught without your ID, remember: once you’re gone, you may never be seen again. And even if you do get back, you won’t be the same. Wawawewaa you’ll be one of us soon.